January 6, 2010 my entire world changed in just 3 minutes when that second little line came across the pregnancy test. A few months before I had experienced a miscarriage. I was devastated, scared and determined not to let it shape me. I spent my entire pregnancy terrified every time I went to the bathroom. It was amazing being pregnant but I just waited for every little movement to assure me he was okay. It seemed easy enough for others to tell me just to relax, but I wasn't. August 27, he came into the world in a very graceful way, emergency c-section. We were on cloud nine. He was absolutely beautiful and absolutely perfect. My world changed a lot that day. Every moment since has been better. I am so grateful to have my little man. He really is an amazing little guy. Within minutes I was over any previous grief I had. I knew that if I had that first baby, I wouldn't have him. I wouldn't trade his beautiful smiling happy face for anything. Pure love!
He was a great baby. He was a great sleeper from the very start. He gets this from his daddy because I work up every couple hours to make sure he was still alive for months! He ate great too. Loved food! He had a very mild temperament, and only fussed when he needed something. He smiled like crazy and was happy to hang out with anyone who would pay attention to him. He stayed on schedule on his own, he knew when it was time for sleep with very few exceptions. Really he was a great baby, and even a very good toddler. The extent of his biting phase was him getting bit, repeatedly. He's kinda small and doesn't really rock the boat too much. The bigger kids took advantage of this sometimes and would bite him if he didn't comply. He learned other ways of getting what he wanted. He would take his toy to the other side of the room and stay quiet so they wouldn't take it for him. Pretty smart little guy!
He really does have the sweetest most perfect smile. His spirit is beautiful. I have never seen a little boy who loves his sister so much. If anything he loves her too much. He always makes sure she has a toy, or is okay. Anytime we go somewhere without her he asks where she is. I am so grateful that he is so great to her. I work hard to proceed cautiously if I think he might hurt her because I never want him to be afraid to hug or love on her. He has never shown aggression, and is so sweet on her. Growling like a dinosaur or hissing is as close to straight up ugly as he gets. Over all he's a pretty good guy. Today, I was so ready to get you to bed. Now, I'm sitting here wishing you we're cuddled up next to me.
Carson, my sweet little love of my life. I love you so much. Every single day with you in my life has been better than the day before. You're sweet, caring, loud, happy and beyond amazing. Your smile can turn any day around. I love spending my time with you. I am so blessed to be your mom. Please always know that I learn so much from you every day. I am amazed by you and I am a better person for having you in my life. I love you, I love your face. Your laugh. Your walk/run. Your hugs. I love you.
